Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

we've got just over a week left in the semester, and things are heavy. we've had just over eleven weeks in this place so far, and things are light. it's a weird place to be in. my heart is heavy and light.

this last week, we had foundations of church ministry course with professor david ernst. i thought old testament lit had claimed the spot of top course in my books, but this one overtook it. this is actually the course i sat in on for a bit last year, though a different prof, but it still took the cake. it was such a good environment to have discussions on issues so relevant to any and all followers of Christ - and the point that we are all in full-time ministry, whether vocational or not, was the overall theme of the course. i loved it, a lot, and it continued to add to the burden God's given me for those in the emerging generation who've been hurt by people calling themselves "Christians", not even so much for the fact that they've been hurt by the church but just for the fact that i'm realizing more and more how hurt this world is, how hurt this generation is, and how desperate a need there is for Truth to be spoken into these situations, to be fought for in these hearts. at times it seems like such an uphill battle, but it is one that needs to be fought. as this is all going on, i keep coming back to the idea of interning with twloha next summer, and getting so eager and so stoked on it. i really think that could be where i'm called to be next summer, and while i don't know what that will mean for school in the fall, i don't know that i can pass up this opportunity. this isn't exactly connected to the course this past week, but certainly related to the whole topic of the emerging generation and meeting people where they're at.

this week was also my last week at st. andrews for the semester. i'm going to be honest, i've been really frustrated going there each week. i had so much anticipation for being involved in the youth group at the start of the semester, and i think i figured i'd just click in and that it would come easily. it hasn't. i'd go each week and feel more and more frustrated with the lack of connections i was making with the youth, etcetera... but things are changing! it actually started with a letter from my good friend tessa that encouraged me enormously about all of this, and convicted me as well to be praying a lot more about all of this, and praying for God to do big things in the church, specifically the youth. and he is! i don't know how much is appropriate to write in a blog when it comes to stuff with kids at youth, but God's at work, bringing walls down. i'm so excited for what's to come.

now, as for that heart of mine. i'm not sure what's up guys. so much is going on at once... i'll start with the rad stuff. we've got the canadian youth worker's convention tomorrow in vancouver, and i'm so stoked. we've been looking ahead to christmas break and talking about what we can do to support one another, to look out for one another and to be praying for one another, and i think there's going to be some big (and different) type of growth going on during that time. and i'm going to ontario for christmas break! i'm going to be couch-surfing the toronto area (i think - i don't know any ontario geography) with fellow kaleos ... so stoked! it's gonna be sick. i'm stoked for continued bonding over the next few weeks and over christmas break.

now for the heavy... first and foremost, i would like to ask for prayer for my grandfather, who was just diagnosed with cancer. he's one of the most incredible people i know, and i love him so much - i can't really grasp this. please just pray for healing, and that God would work through this in ways that i couldn't be bold enough to ask for. i suppose all the heavy stuff can be surmised with that request: that in situations that i can't understand or in struggles i feel hopeless in, to pray for things bigger than i can fathom, to dream bigger things than i know how to dream. i've realized lately that my hope is so limited, so slight compared to the hope that He offers, and i'm just hoping and praying that my unbelief or my inadequacy in boldly requesting big things will in no way limit what he does, that he would - in an act of grace - blow my mind and set me free.