i continued to cherish the hour-long slots i'd get in the room, some spent in solitude and some spent with others. the times varied as far as focus of prayer and overall experience went, but it was always valuable. the walls quickly became plastered with prayers, pleas and praises. as the week progressed they became more and more covered, in hurt and hope and incredible, heartfelt responses to both... there was some serious work being done in the hearts of all of us... a new level of transparency and vulnerability being brought to the group.
as i saw the prayers and questions and read people's encouragement displayed for the group to see, and as more and more incredible conversations happened, i realized that we're all starting to be united in our dream for this group - or rather, God's bringing us together with the glimpses we're getting of His dream for us. i can't even explain it, but spending time with God every day in a room full of photographs of the people we're sharing this year with gave all of us a renewed desire to dive deeper with these people, to abandon everything holding us back from striving toward God's best for us this year, to get to know each other on a whole new level and boldly love each other in ways we've perhaps been afraid to - or at least, i had been.
and something really awesome happened: i shared my story! i wouldn't have thought it would take me so long but it was incredible. as frustrated as i'd gotten recently at having not shared yet, i've realized the timing was right to do it this week; as well as being able to explain significant occurrences in the prayer room, this week saw bria and tim share their stories as well... i think all three of us were pretty reluctant/anxious towards sharing, but it was time and it was sweet and God is good. i love the change there's been since i shared; i walk around feeling known, conversation seems far less restricted, and there's such a shift in my dynamic with people. it's great.
a verse that my good friend james gave to me following my testimony was Galatians 5:1 - "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." this verse has proved to be a real encouragement as well as a challenge, one i'm grappling with a lot and praying on. there are so many areas of my life lacking freedom, where i have consciously and tangibly separated myself, for years, from "the free kids". but God, my Father and my Rescuer, set me free so that i could be free. i knew this year the chained ways in which i still live would be challenged, and i'm ready to ask for help for the first time, and to fight this and pray through it and surrender it all to God, and be set free.
on the ministry side of things, i had my first "QFX" session this week, which is where we work alongside a qwanoes staff member for our camp ministry course. i'm working with michael down, whom i served alongside on the qwanoes staff team for the last three summers and who is now serving as follow-up coordinator. tim, nicole and myself were given insight and influence on projects in development to help with follow-up between summer camp counsellors and their campers. it's a part of the ministry that's really important and needing attention, i think, and michael's got a rad heart for it, so it was a good time for sure.
as for church, if you could please be praying as to my role on sundays goes? at this point, jessica, nick and myself have been sitting in on the services, but i know that jessica and i have been wondering if perhaps we'd be suited for the sunday school ministry. we'd talked to kevin, the youth pastor, about it (sunday school is all the way up until grade 12 at st. andrews), and kind of let the idea fall by the wayside, but i kept running into these two boys at church on sunday, and they seemed so stoked to be have an older guy taking interest in them, and while the conversation was so basic and so surface-level it got me really excited to see God at work, and i couldn't even really see how he was working. so if you could pray that it would be clear to me/us if we should be getting involved in the sunday school ministry and all that, that would be sweet.
another major prayer request is for the totality of our family here. this past week brought a lot of hurt to the surface, a lot of it from peoples' pasts but some of it in the present, and prayers for healing would be incredible. there are a couple of people who are unsure whether or not they're coming back for second semester, and the rest of us are heartbroken at the thought of being any less than 28 in number. please just pray that they'd be back here next semester, that the things jeopardizing that - a variety of obstacles both personal and health-wise - would be removed, and we'd be blessed with another semester spent with them. honestly, i cannot imagine coming back an incomplete group, and the thought is giving me a lot of unrest. please pray!
also, i'm overdue on two assignments. neither are exceptionally difficult, and i've got one of them almost completed, but there's been a lot of stuff going on that's called for attention, academic, spiritual and interpersonal... please just pray that in the midst of the course we're doing now (foundations of church ministry - i love it. so much. it's fantastic.), that i can get them in by this sunday. i haven't had a late assignment yet, but these two kind of sat untouched while my old testament lit paper took up most of last week.
i appreciate your prayers and your encouragement. peace be with you,
matthew.
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