how can my praises ever find end?

i don't know that i've ever felt such a frequent inclination to burst into praises. i pray words and they come up short, and all that makes sense is to sing to him.

with all creation i sing praise to the King of Kings

you are my everything, and i will adore you.

firm on his promise i'll stand.

take me to, take me to where you took peter and the boys

calmed the stormy noise, made it so they knew they had to trust in you.

walk with me, talk with me, i want to know what you would say if you had me face-to-face

what would i do with my feet out on the blue?

would i know that i was safe by your side out on the waves

would you tell me, "don't look down, keep your eyes fixed on me now.

when the waves wrap at your feet, don't you worry, look to me."

make me move, oh won't you make me move?

i want to know what you're about and not have any doubt in you,

be what you want me to.

and even as my brain tells me that i should drown,

i still so believe that you would never let me down.

yeah, what would i do,

out on the blue?

...he is my victory, and he is here.

walking on water.

what i'm learning, what i'm hoping for, and how you can be praying for me. straight outta the moleskine notebook...

March 21st 2010:

they'll call me freedom, just like a waving flag.

this week, like all weeks, was insane and crazy. and it was also pretty incredible, in the way God was glorified and how the best moments of it were the ones i was emptiest and most broken, which somehow were my most hopeful and peaceful and assured. in the midst of attack and trial and stress and everything else, He was gentle with me and his grace was so evident.

and i think i can “forget and not slow down,” to borrow a phrase, in running the rest of this race.

this might be the shortest post in the world, and it might seem like the same type of thing i always say, but it is what it is, and it is good. it is well, in my soul.

...like freedom in spring.

it's been a while since i had a proper update on here, and a lot's happened. i've said before that things at kaleo seem to go at an alarmingly fast rate, and it's just been increasing in that. so much going on all the time! i'll try and catch you guys up.

the olympics. wow. that was a strange, tiring and rewarding experience. through working at the sliding centre in whistler, i was really blessed to be seeing some sweet opportunities to discuss God with people. each of us had very different experiences, but i think for all of us as well it was unlike anything else we'd done before under the banner of a missions trip. out of a couple extra-noteworthy opportunities (ask me for more, i'd love to share), one was with a supervisor of mine named patrick, whose beliefs i can't describe as anything other than him being a postmodern messianic jew. it was really interesting to hear about his life and the ways in which his beliefs have formed and cemented... i was really thankful for the opportunity to discuss all this with him, and katie and caroline both got a chance to talk to him as well. it was discouraging though to see someone stand so adamantly behind a view in which there ultimately is no right or wrong, either in the context of truth or in morals, in which people can do whatever they want and damage as many people as they want and whether it's right, wrong, or commendable is all based on outlook (even extending to terrorism), but i suppose there's going to be a bit of a culture shock when going into a culture like whistler's after being in the environment i've been in all year so far. in any case, it was a good opportunity, and i'm really glad to have gotten to meet so many people from so many places.

following the trip, we returned home to kaleo for a debrief. the next day, i was headed back to the mainland to spend some time at my mother's house and get a check-up with my doctor (i'd been really sick on and off for quite some time, but thankfully it seems to be resolved now). unfortunately, being back with the family brought on situations that have become all too familiar, ones that i thought were long in the past. though things took a rough turn pretty quickly, there were some things that may have proved redemptive for the time spent away from kaleo. largest perhaps was wednesday night, when i got to return to coquitlam alliance for the end of their youth night. through some sweet reunion and catching up, i really felt affirmation towards going to briercrest in the fall to pursue youth ministry. i was catching up with a few of the younger guys who i led last year (formally or informally) and just found myself being so appreciative of the opportunity to invest in their lives, to have them trust me with their stories and, with one in particular, the opening to spur him on to more and celebrate significant growth in his life. walking around the white rock pier with megan afterwards as well, i was reminded of some incredible times this summer and over the past few years, and felt assured that while circumstance sometimes seems to choke the hope and life out of me, they really don't, because that's not where my hope or life are found, nor has it ever been.

being back has been fantastic. i'm loving it, so much... being back with everyone in a somewhat-regular routine (as regular as it ever gets at kaleo) after being so spread out for the olympics (being on the smaller team, i'd go days without seeing the majority of the olympic team, and of course spent the duration away from the mexico team) and reading break, it's great to be back together. lots of good talks. a sweet professor and a huge course (gospels - it's intense). the struggle that was claiming the last week of the olympics for me seems to have levelled out. the location is rad. "i'm back, i'm home." the lyrics to switchfoot's golden have been running through my mind...

it's your book now, you are golden.

the earth spins and the moon goes round

the green comes from the frozen ground

and everything will be made new again

like freedom in spring.

i don't know when winter ends or when spring begins, but right now feels like spring and it feels like freedom.

it takes me right back, when i come back around.

visiting coquitlam tonight, i realized how blessed i’ve been to be able to have younger guys at my school and church allow me to come alongside them in their lives in pretty significant ways. for starters, the welcome i got when seen by my small group boys from last year was incredible, as was catching up with jett afterwards. after youth was over, me and david went for a drive, and man am i thanking God for the doors he’s opened up with these guys and the ways in which he lavishes blessings through relationships like these - that, despite the struggles and the mayhem, he is giving me an opportunity to invest myself in things other than myself, and divinely orchestrated so much in these mentorship opportunities. it’s incredible and heartening that he uses broken vessels like me for things of eternal significance.

(originally posted on my tumblog @ www.musiccolliding.tumblr.com)