new blog, much more lively & interesting than this one, with summer updates, photos, and anything else i stumble upon:

www.musiccolliding.blogspot.com

stoked! / twloha.

so we just got back from our final kaleo retreat, and having been up at mount washington i haven't been able to blog this yet. but on monday when we were pit-stopped in coombs i got a notification on my phone saying that i had an email from twloha, so i went and checked on matt's iphone, and found out that i've been accepted to be to write love on her arms' summer 2010 road intern! long story short, i'll be on tour with them for the next... 3 or so months? no set date to finish as of yet, but i'll be leaving in 6 days, flying to st. louis. i really have no idea what to expect, besides adventure. i'm excited and a bit scared but mostly full of incredible anticipation. however, it's quite a leap of faith, because, as of right now, i don't have any money for it. my flight, transportation and accommodations stuff is all covered, as best i can tell, but i need to budget to pay for my own food etcetera... seeing as i'm already significantly in debt from this year at kaleo, prayer for the financial side to come through would be really appreciated. i'll be keeping a road blog starting next week @ www.matthewontour.tumblr.com so check that out. i'll keep ya posted on the adventures to follow.

the time's tickin' down on what's been the best year of my life so far.

i know it's got to end, and i'm anticipating big things down the road

but please pray that we go out with a bang, that this would be the time we ran best.

that we'd go out with a bang, and be amazed at all that happened, even in these final days.

how can my praises ever find end?

i don't know that i've ever felt such a frequent inclination to burst into praises. i pray words and they come up short, and all that makes sense is to sing to him.

with all creation i sing praise to the King of Kings

you are my everything, and i will adore you.

firm on his promise i'll stand.

take me to, take me to where you took peter and the boys

calmed the stormy noise, made it so they knew they had to trust in you.

walk with me, talk with me, i want to know what you would say if you had me face-to-face

what would i do with my feet out on the blue?

would i know that i was safe by your side out on the waves

would you tell me, "don't look down, keep your eyes fixed on me now.

when the waves wrap at your feet, don't you worry, look to me."

make me move, oh won't you make me move?

i want to know what you're about and not have any doubt in you,

be what you want me to.

and even as my brain tells me that i should drown,

i still so believe that you would never let me down.

yeah, what would i do,

out on the blue?

...he is my victory, and he is here.

walking on water.

what i'm learning, what i'm hoping for, and how you can be praying for me. straight outta the moleskine notebook...

March 21st 2010:

they'll call me freedom, just like a waving flag.

this week, like all weeks, was insane and crazy. and it was also pretty incredible, in the way God was glorified and how the best moments of it were the ones i was emptiest and most broken, which somehow were my most hopeful and peaceful and assured. in the midst of attack and trial and stress and everything else, He was gentle with me and his grace was so evident.

and i think i can “forget and not slow down,” to borrow a phrase, in running the rest of this race.

this might be the shortest post in the world, and it might seem like the same type of thing i always say, but it is what it is, and it is good. it is well, in my soul.

...like freedom in spring.

it's been a while since i had a proper update on here, and a lot's happened. i've said before that things at kaleo seem to go at an alarmingly fast rate, and it's just been increasing in that. so much going on all the time! i'll try and catch you guys up.

the olympics. wow. that was a strange, tiring and rewarding experience. through working at the sliding centre in whistler, i was really blessed to be seeing some sweet opportunities to discuss God with people. each of us had very different experiences, but i think for all of us as well it was unlike anything else we'd done before under the banner of a missions trip. out of a couple extra-noteworthy opportunities (ask me for more, i'd love to share), one was with a supervisor of mine named patrick, whose beliefs i can't describe as anything other than him being a postmodern messianic jew. it was really interesting to hear about his life and the ways in which his beliefs have formed and cemented... i was really thankful for the opportunity to discuss all this with him, and katie and caroline both got a chance to talk to him as well. it was discouraging though to see someone stand so adamantly behind a view in which there ultimately is no right or wrong, either in the context of truth or in morals, in which people can do whatever they want and damage as many people as they want and whether it's right, wrong, or commendable is all based on outlook (even extending to terrorism), but i suppose there's going to be a bit of a culture shock when going into a culture like whistler's after being in the environment i've been in all year so far. in any case, it was a good opportunity, and i'm really glad to have gotten to meet so many people from so many places.

following the trip, we returned home to kaleo for a debrief. the next day, i was headed back to the mainland to spend some time at my mother's house and get a check-up with my doctor (i'd been really sick on and off for quite some time, but thankfully it seems to be resolved now). unfortunately, being back with the family brought on situations that have become all too familiar, ones that i thought were long in the past. though things took a rough turn pretty quickly, there were some things that may have proved redemptive for the time spent away from kaleo. largest perhaps was wednesday night, when i got to return to coquitlam alliance for the end of their youth night. through some sweet reunion and catching up, i really felt affirmation towards going to briercrest in the fall to pursue youth ministry. i was catching up with a few of the younger guys who i led last year (formally or informally) and just found myself being so appreciative of the opportunity to invest in their lives, to have them trust me with their stories and, with one in particular, the opening to spur him on to more and celebrate significant growth in his life. walking around the white rock pier with megan afterwards as well, i was reminded of some incredible times this summer and over the past few years, and felt assured that while circumstance sometimes seems to choke the hope and life out of me, they really don't, because that's not where my hope or life are found, nor has it ever been.

being back has been fantastic. i'm loving it, so much... being back with everyone in a somewhat-regular routine (as regular as it ever gets at kaleo) after being so spread out for the olympics (being on the smaller team, i'd go days without seeing the majority of the olympic team, and of course spent the duration away from the mexico team) and reading break, it's great to be back together. lots of good talks. a sweet professor and a huge course (gospels - it's intense). the struggle that was claiming the last week of the olympics for me seems to have levelled out. the location is rad. "i'm back, i'm home." the lyrics to switchfoot's golden have been running through my mind...

it's your book now, you are golden.

the earth spins and the moon goes round

the green comes from the frozen ground

and everything will be made new again

like freedom in spring.

i don't know when winter ends or when spring begins, but right now feels like spring and it feels like freedom.

it takes me right back, when i come back around.

visiting coquitlam tonight, i realized how blessed i’ve been to be able to have younger guys at my school and church allow me to come alongside them in their lives in pretty significant ways. for starters, the welcome i got when seen by my small group boys from last year was incredible, as was catching up with jett afterwards. after youth was over, me and david went for a drive, and man am i thanking God for the doors he’s opened up with these guys and the ways in which he lavishes blessings through relationships like these - that, despite the struggles and the mayhem, he is giving me an opportunity to invest myself in things other than myself, and divinely orchestrated so much in these mentorship opportunities. it’s incredible and heartening that he uses broken vessels like me for things of eternal significance.

(originally posted on my tumblog @ www.musiccolliding.tumblr.com)

friday is the new monday. or something.

i'll have to blog later. at this point, we (the sliding centre team - 6 of us from kaleo here at the olympics) are getting back to squamish extremely late at night, only to go to bed and get up in the morning and go back to the whistler to serve for the rest of the day at the olympics. there's a lot going on, and a lot to be shared. it seems the other group has more to share, but maybe that's because there's more of them. in any case, i thought it was monday and i had to get a blog out, but ben just pointed out that we just turned over into friday.

i don't even know what day of the week it is.

please pray for us, for energy and health (today was the first day i wasn't sick! ptL.) and opportunities and discernment and prepared hearts on both ends of all of our conversations.

at this point, i'm taking it a day at a time and learning a lot in both the business and the solitude, in the excitement and the frustration...

but you'll have to hear about that later, because i need to go to bed if i want to make it through tomorrow.

sing it out.

It’s been quite the week. I couldn’t really tell you exactly why that is or what we did (this was one of those undefined weeks, in which we don’t have a full class week or out-trip or anything) but I feel like there hasn’t been any week that’s gone by feeling insignificant so far this semester. Between really cool victories being seen in our group, and some pretty sweet days of camp ministry here and there, it’s been a good’er.

The morning after returning from the Mount Washington trip, I woke up to be surprised by my great friend Chris from back home. Chris did Kaleo a couple of years ago, and is leading up the Mexico missions team while most of us are going to be at the Olympics. That was a real blessing, being able to unpack what’s been going on with someone who’s been through it. Tonight as well, we were visited by some former Kaleos, Jon and Tom, who are from last year’s class. I’ve known Jon for a while; I stayed in his room (which is now my room) when I was checking out the program last year, and our paths have crossed a bunch since. I also knew that he had a very similar experience at Missions Fest last year to mine this year, with International Justice Mission, and it was really good to talk it out with him, and see where he’s at with it a year later. I’m really excited for what’s to come, and it doesn’t really matter if it’s with IJM or Invisible Children or TWLOHA or something differently entirely – there’s a lot to be fought for, so I’m not worried about being without something to send myself on. It was also really good to talk to him and hear his perspective of being a year out of Kaleo, and hear about how much has changed for him, how much he changed that year and how much is still being continued. It got me both excited for what’s to come and gave me a reminder of how much potential there is right now, how valuable of an opportunity this year is, to change everything. To further ruin me for the ordinary, to wreck me for the things that wreck me. I read a Jon Foreman quote yesterday that sums it up pretty well: “I fall in love with the ones and things that take life and love away from me. I need The Song Himself to sing through me. I need The Word Himself to speak into me. “

He’s been singing.

He’s been speaking.

And hopefully, I’ve been listening.

I’d appreciate if you’d be praying for my health. I’ve been having a rough time lately, to be honest. I’ve been really sick, feeling nauseous after most meals, getting migraines, and not being able to eat much. On top of it all, I’ve got a lovely little contact lens infection or something, and so I’ll be returning to both the optometrist and walk-in clinic in the next little bit. Please pray that my health would improve! It can get really disheartening.

Today we had our first Intro to Christian Theology class today. I can honestly say that we are so blessed with the professors investing into us. Jim Paulson is one of the funniest, most sincere and passionate educators/people I’ve met. It’s a great time. That said, with being sick and stressed and having a lot to be gearing up for with classes and the Olympics, and the difficult content of the course in general, I’m having a hard time keeping up with the academic side of things, and I’m thankful for your prayers in that area as well.

Also, please pray for us Kaleo guys, that we would be more and more sharpened into men who reflect Christ, rather than boys who resemble so much of the ordinary.

Grace and peace be with you, hope your week is phenomenal.

you always amaze me.

my Father is good.

if you asked me today how things are going, i'd say they're rocky. there's a lot going on right now. but my Father is still so good.

i got to spend the past week up at mount washington in a log cabin lodge right on the side of the hill. i got to spend 5 days in the snow, shredding and snowshoeing and tubing, and got to spend each night in incredible community chapels with the incredible friends God's provided me with this year. these were times of prayer and conversation, in which we acknowledged Christlike qualities we see in one another, and as a group named one another - names that both recognize who we are now, as well as giving admonition and spurring one another towards more.

i was pretty worried that nobody would know what to name each other, but the Spirit was moving in our group. a lot of people had the same names come to them for the same people as they prayed, and we took time (a lot of time - i think something around 5 or 6 hours over two nights) to talk them through until we arrived at one that fit. i was really surprised to be the first one named - "conqueror". for those of you who know my story, this gives me a lot to grow in to, and shows a lot of hope that people have got for me to overcome things that seem as immovable as mountains. that name's going to be something i wrestle with (it already has been) but i know it's not arbitrary, and i value it a lot.

and the mountains seem to have been budging. i feel, in a way, as if it's been a back-and-forth experience of growth and frustration with a lack thereof. but i'm seeing more and more of the former. i'm incredibly blessed with the friendships i've got being built here, and with the opportunities for adventures like i had this week, and the fact that i even have that name, and such sweet opportunities to worship Him in so many ways. the accuser is trying to undermine these things, to kill my brotherhood, to rob me of opportunities for adventure, to make me feel defeated and to keep me from worshipping my Saviour, Rescuer and Father but my eyes are being opened and i've found myself more able to discern and rebuke such attack. right now it's heavy though, and prayer to keep going would be really appreciated, and is honestly quite needed. i have been seeing the results of your guys’ prayers undeniably throughout these last months.

this entire year has been a process of things being brought to the surface and being engaged and overcome, and it continues to be so. right now i don't know what is going to happen - it seems like a million obstacles are fixing themselves in front of me, things i didn't foresee and don't know how i'm going to overcome. in a way it's really stressing me out, but on a whole i'm given such an incredible overlay of peace.

He's got this.

it's going to be okay.

my Father is good.

Kaleo Seven.

Matthew Conqueror Newton
James Guardian VanderVeen
Jeremy Shepherd Derksen
Bo Flash Stephenson
Claire Victory Roscoe-Lussier
Marissa Wellspring Baerg
Katie Physician Doiron
Justin Advocate Lenny
Haley Devotion Warkentin
Rivera Challenger Woodford
Jim Abraham Badke
Kaitlyn Radiant Cey
Nick Pilgrim VanSnick
Josh Israel Poulin
Mark David Guenther
Nicole Gem Venton
Ellie Delight Downing
Abby Companion Calverly
Bob Builder Drinkwater
John Counselor Lansink
Ben Gentle Schmidt
Emma Ambassador Furfaro
Jade Genuine Summerfelt
Nate Mender Boyda
Jenna Esther McKee
Trent Masterpiece McKone
Caroline Caregiver Pullan
Tim Refiner Everett
Bria Hopeful Bymann
Kristie Treasure Voth
Jessica Mercy Hendry

Matt Abundance Myles

there are stories and prayers and hopes and incredible things behind each of these.

i've got my heart set on what happens next.

What a week and a bit it has been. I’m sitting down to write this, and as per usual have no idea where to begin. More has happened in the first week back at Kaleo than I ever thought could fit into a week, and I’m so excited for more weeks to come.

This last week we had Theology of Missions course with Tim Stabell, followed by a trip to Vancouver for Missions Fest. I’ve gone to Missions Fest the last few years, and so I wasn’t expecting many surprises. I figured it’d be pretty sweet, but nothing revolutionary. I’m still not sure what relevance the weekend will have in the long run, but it was a significant time for sure.

In Theo of Missions, Tim (prof) would give us information about countries around the world and their specific needs – how best to pray for them, etc. One of the countries, The Congo, is one I’ve heard about a lot because of the LRA child soldiers. While I’ve been involved in a couple of Invisible Children events to raise money to free the child soldiers, to be honest it’s one of those world issues I try and sweep under the rug in my mind. It’s a brutal, complicated situation without much visible hope, and so I suppose I’d hardened myself to it. This week, as we lifted the Congo up in prayer, God began to soften my heart immensely. It was pretty scary, to be honest; having accepted the brutality and urgency of the situation, I felt unable to sit and simply hope for a resolution. I began to really feel called to actively engage these issues.

And then came Missions Fest. I remember a guy from Kaleo last year telling me about feeling called to work with International Justice Mission, to free child sex slaves. I kind of always looked at that and thought it was pretty good that I had my future figured out. But God’s pretty ironic sometimes hey? The Young Adults rally on the Saturday night, a guy from IJM spoke, and afterwards we were asked to pray and see what God’s calling us to in regards to this enormous, horrible thing that’s taking place all over the world. Me and Tim went and prayed, and I knew already that I was going to be doing something to help out IJM, but I don’t know if I was expecting to be broken down for these kids the way I was. I can’t help but feel an urgency to fight for freedom and fight for justice for these kids, and I don’t know what it’s going to mean for the rest of my life... Currently the plan is to intern with To Write Love on Her Arms next summer (fighting for justice and freedom for a very different demographic), but I also have a real heart for Invisible Children and IJM. I’m not wanting to get carried away or act on an emotional reaction to a brutal situation, but these things are going on in the world, and I don’t want to be okay with that. prayer for guidance in how to contribute would be so great.

I’ve been incredibly blessed with what’s going on amidst the community right now, particularly with the bro’s. I’m growing lots and feeling as if my prayer that our “love would abound more and more” (Philippians 1:9 reference there) for each other is really being answered. I can’t even say how thankful I am for that. I find that, as I realize more and more the stakes there are on the things I am fighting for (and can easily get overwhelmed by), I am feeling less and less alone in it, and seeing a growth in opportunity to come alongside others... Man, He’s doing a number on my heart. I don’t even know if I know how much.

This next week we’re going to be going up to Mount Washington for our Snow Trip – which means some sweet boarding. I haven’t been in way too long, and I’m really excited for this week. Please be lifting us up, for our conversations and adventures and ... academics (which I’m currently a bit behind in – I’ve got to get better at balancing the awesome conversations and bonding times with paper-writing and textbook-reading).

Justin asked me tonight for three words that he could be praying me “towards”, and I’d like to share them with you, with the hope that you’ll be doing the same: joyful, free, and fearless. I’m dreaming of these words becoming adjectives for Matthew Newton, and feel bits of each being stirred in me already.

Hope be with you,

Matthew.